Taking a Buzzcock's song title and my own personal position, i thought I would put the question out there.
Have you ever fallen for someone whose already taken/with someone? Have you ever felt a real connection with someone who you know you can probably not be with in an intimate way?
Or maybe like me you have been with the person, but then they pull away, afraid of what the consequences may be. Yet they stay a part of your life and try to hold onto you as much as you try to hold on to them, but with some small wall between you.
Is it wrong to try and stay close to/friends with that person, or should you break all contact and try to allow you both to move on?
Tough to avoid at this stage Rob. I tried not to end up in this situation, but we are so regularly in contact and spend a lot of time around each other and i guess she got a hold on me without either of us realising it. We have too much in common and enjoy too many of the same things. Anyway, she's in a relationship and thats how it goes. Life can throw some seriously mean curveballs i guess!!
Yes, it is tough. I could not do it when I had to. So, the drama began. In the end it is all solved, but the damage remains. Too many people get hurt. And it all began as you said: "We have too much in common and enjoy too many of the same things". I am still in the middle of all this. No way back now.
i'm in the same situation .. we met for over 3 years ago now ... ax shes been with this guy for 3 years also. we see each other every day and talk everyday as well .. we became really close over time knowing everything on each other.. like every detail ... she'd the most person that knows me .. and i know that what i feel is something special .. more than just special .. i tried closing all contacts between us but it was the hardest 4 days of my life... now we're ok like back as we where.. and she knows how i feel ..and i know its not fair on me than i feel like this .. but i just cant live without her .. and i can move on .. its like i dont want to .. i tried being with other people but its not the same ! .. it hurts alot seeing her with him .. but im not ready to loose her .. i dont think i ever will ..
I hear what you're saying Kurt and i know in ways what you feel. But reading advice and warnings from others here i reckon the pain will all be on your/my side if we don't try to get on with our lives and make that break. Even if its done step by step.
At least you know you're not alone in this situation.
Did you ever ask yourself if you only fall in love with someone you can't have because you're afraid to share somedody's life.May be you're on the level of what is exciting is what is forbidden or unreachable.
Could it only be real friendship ?!
Kurt...i went through exactly the same thing you are going through...but you REALLY need to let go..put it like this...the woman i wasn't' supposed to love has been married to another for quite some time now...it took me more then a year to get over her but time heals...
do you think she think twice about marrying another man when she knew i was still in love with her? I don't think so...
my man...eventually 2 things will happen:
- she will choose you one day (IF)
- she will settle down with her current man...and even if she doesn't with this one doesn't mean she will choose to be with you.
somethings in life are meant to be...while some are not meant to be,be strong-LET HER GO.
i keep fooling my self that im no in to her anymore .. i try at least.. tho i know shell always be THE one for me .. im sure of that like 100 % positive .. i dont think i can ever just let her go .. we will always be good friends .. it will always suck seeing her with him .. but i had told her what i feel about her .. and she kept on seeing him .. so at least i partially know that she has chosen already .. i will always be her second best and that isnt just right for me ..
i know she feels something towards me .. cause the connection we have between us.. the moments are just .. amazing .. but i want to sink all this to the bottom and open up for something new .. somethng new to feel .. something new to live for ! i know ive got so much love to give that im hoping that someday il be able to share it with someone .. that all i ask .. but as everyone here knows .. love and trust are the hardest thing to gain in this world .