My Modern Metropolis

What's fun about growing up??

As a university student I find myself a bit scared to become an adult. I know that legally I am an adult, but in no way do we really have the responsibilities of a working man or woman. What I'm wondering is what things got better for you as you got older, what benefits there are to being a parent or just an adult in general? What is there to look forward to, seeing as my health and energy will probably decrease and worries will only get more serious?

Tags: growing, up

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Permalink Reply by Mark Huckabee on April 4, 2011 at 1:46pm
University is fun because you have so few responsibilities and there are so many new things to experience. Adulthood can be just as much fun - IF - you don't let things drag you down. It is really really easy to get caught up in your job / kids / relationship / bills / whatever and drive yourself into a rut. You just start existing from day to day and forget to really LIVE. But you can avoid this. Be conscious of every single day. Try new things even if they scare you. Travel. Meet new people. Take risks. Get out of your shell.

Being an adult can be a blast if you make it that way. You generally have more money and more skills. You're more sure of yourself. You can also keep most (maybe all) of your health and energy if you try. Your attitude will go a long way towards making life great. Everyone has things go wrong at some point but your attitude will pull you out of it if you try. Take a look at Adventurous Kate. She is a woman traveling the world by herself. She just got shipwrecked! And it didn't stop her!
Permalink Reply by Katy O'Malley on April 4, 2011 at 4:20pm
I can only hope that I will continue to have my easy going, low-stress mindset as an adult, and don't lose the energy and optimism that makes everyday special now. After all, life is all in your head anyway, so I get what you're saying about attitude. PS- I'd love to live like Adventurous Kate! Thanks for sharing.
Permalink Reply by James Kay on April 4, 2011 at 7:42pm
There's nothing particularly fun about it and you would do well to avoid it any way you can.

I was about nine when I set my mind to avoiding getting old (meaning over 21) and now I'm a month away from seventy-still avoiding it and very pleased with the results.
Permalink Reply by Katy O'Malley on April 9, 2011 at 10:00am
that's what i like to hear :D ...happy early birthday! 70...wow. you must know a lot.
Permalink Reply by James Kay on April 9, 2011 at 4:51pm
Thank you! I'll be celebrating it with my older sister whom I only rarely get to see.
Permalink Reply by Darrell Dyck on April 5, 2011 at 11:13am
I think one of the most satisfying surprises i've had growing older has been watching my kids grow up. As a young single man I could never imagine myself as a father. Even married, I had to be coerced into having each child.

(I've since discovered that this is typical - there are more men out there that are reluctant to have children than women. But don't ask them that with any females around. to get them to admit it you got to put 'em in a room with just other men. And likely plenty of malted truth serum.)

Now nearing the other end of the timeline (with alarming speed) I find myself forgetting the tough times and concentrating on the good bits of having progeny. For one thing, they push me. I have four beautiful kids (photo attached, i hope). Now, the oldest one (top of the tree) is 21 this year. And what a clever, articulate, generous beauty she is. I've fallen in love with her a hundred times. Don't take that in a creepy way, but I'm sure there are dads out there that understand exactly what i'm talking about: that wonder that this beautiful baby ... toddler ... girl ... teen ... young woman ... would love me and trust me and ask me for advice when I still feel like a kid myself (don't tell her I said that ... phphphffft there goes my credibility!). It's just .... just ... just... well, there really are no words for it. I feel privileged.

I've heard people say "aww, I wish they didn't have to grow up ... i miss them when they were ...." blah blah blah, fill in the stage. Not me. Now that I've experienced one daughter growing to young womanhood I can hardly wait for the others to get there. OK, well, the boy is going to get to manhood, but you get the picture. I love my daughter as a young woman, and more than that I LIKE her! I'm her friend on Facebook, and I'd be her friend even if I wasn't her dad. If I could get her back as a little girl, I wouldn't because I'd miss the woman she has become.

So I could hardly wait to do it all again with the next. And guess what happened? Darn it if it wasn't different! Not in a bad way, just in a surprising way. I thought I had it figured out. But this next relationship is blossoming into a totally different thing - as unique as each of my children are.

That's what I meant when I said they push me. I do things I'd never do left to my own devices. I've had to be a hero in ways that I'd never have even remotely thought possible if I hadn't had kids. I would be less of a person.

My advice: have kids. at least one. Oh, and by the way, try to have a spouse first before having the kid(s). Makes things much easier.

Oh, by the way, there is about a 10 year spread between the two at-the-tree pics. Enough time that the oldest just doesn't get in the annual photo any more, so i've had to add a recent shot of her separately. Who wouldn't fall in love with these kids? They're the greatest.
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Permalink Reply by Amy Wong on April 8, 2011 at 6:36pm
Haha! Your children are beautiful! :D I can feel your excitement. I can't wait to be a parent too! :)
Permalink Reply by Katy O'Malley on April 9, 2011 at 9:59am
they are beautiful :) and no i don't find it creepy that you fell in love with your daughter, i would only hope that my dad is in love with me too. you make me want to be better to my parents.

having kids is definitely something i'm looking forward to, since it sounds like probably the most rewarding thing you can do in your life. watching to see how your influence and your hard work effect the world around you in the form of your children, in addition to unconditional love, seems like the reason we may be here to begin with! maybe they keep you young.

thanks for your answer. it seems like your growing up experience has been lovely :) i can only hope mine turns out something like this!
Permalink Reply by Darrell Dyck on April 10, 2011 at 6:37pm
:-) thanks for the kind words! Parents all over the world would agree with your words and your great attitude about anticipating parenthood! Just a warning - they can keep you young, but they also never let you forget how old you've really become ;-)
Permalink Reply by Rachel on April 5, 2011 at 8:50pm
Finally not having to rely on your parents and being able to live your own life. Finally leaving my parents house, i was able to actually have my boyfriend sleep over and sleep in my own bed. i was also able to study at home where no yelling is going on. I also get to use my time the way that I need and want to
Permalink Reply by Ken Connor on April 7, 2011 at 10:19am
Nothing really gets better. As I grew older I became more self confident, & after trials & tribulations I more & more realized that no matter what decisions I made, I would come out of it OK in the end even if the experience itself was truly horrible. I have come to realize that the most important things in my life are my kids (32 & 27 now). Being with them as they grew up. I also cherished the relationship I had with their mother. We were together for 27years. We went through a lot together. She & the kids showed me that I can really love someone & what that love is. To be on the receiving end of that love beats anything else in life. I have bad things in my past too, but going through those periods helped me to grow just as much as anything else, & in some cases even more. Spending years in Jails, & prisons, & the horror stories that that scene entails, helped me to really appreciate the good things that came my way. I guess I have a better understanding of how things & people are. I also guess I'm fairly lucky as for the most part & within reason, I have gotten just about everything I have wanted. Not everything, but close.
Permalink Reply by JT on April 8, 2011 at 1:19am
'growing up' and 'getting older' for me are two very different things...yes i am getting older but there are parts of me where I'm still a child...secretly you never grow up and that's probably whats kept me youthful.

at my stage i find it both amusing & rewarding looking at younger people and remembering I've "been there,done AND survived that".

and on a lighter note- i LOVE being able to snidely comment "what a naive snot nosed lil punk" on smart-ass youngsters who can't touch me on the lessons learned in 'the school of life'. No offense ok?

but seriously growing up is an adventure in itself so prepare yourself and enjoy it,cheers Katy.

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