Michael (Miguel) Forbus's Page

The Crucible of FireThere is a tale a Mayan shaman told me how a man could tell if a woman truly loved him. As usual we were partaking in homemade mescal and I was anxious to hear his version. Sometimes he would put something extra in the mescal and it would be days before the story passed. He began with his eyes brimming over and turning red rimmed. Though I was studying archeology and the ruins of Palenque in the Yucatán, I felt a little uncomfortable because he was formidable and the chief of the family.He said, “Don Miguelito, there is a crucible in Las Montañas de San Cristóbal de la Casas. It is kept burning day and night by Los Lacadones, the ultimate tribe of indians on the border of Guatemala. It is a scalding bowl of charcoal of two thousand degrees or more. Lovers of all types make the long and arduous journey there to try and prove their undying love for their betrothed. Don Miguelito, they plunge their clasped hands into the fire and the miracle is that they will not be singed, not one hair."I am altered mentally by then and began to make fun of the tradition because you see I had a love and I did not doubt that she loved me in her own way. I was so devoted to Rosita that I would do whatever she willed. I would stay from her side if she asked, and if my sight hurt her, I would give my love to God and become a priest for there is no replacing the rose. Rosita, the name made me quiver, and the shaman saw my firm set jaw. He knew before I that I would make the trek to prove my love to Rosita, but that it might be a task to talk her into it. "Don Miguelito, Rosita has always loved you, in this life and in others she has been by your side, let the medicine talk to your soul, and you will know." I am a hard headed southern born ex-patriot, a farm boy fearful of nothing God has sent me. I am bulletproof, especially when I need to make a point.I hiked to Rosita's casita hitting both sides of the path and seeing many visions of the panther on the way, but fear did not accompany me. It never did. Fear had become a useless old friend of mine that had outlived its power over me. Don Geronimo "Momo" yelled out at me as I left, "You cannot till the soil with stumps for hands." I laughed but during the entire way I asked myself many questions. It is always amazing to me that she knew when I was arriving home. She was waiting in a lovely camisa de noche and was sitting perfectly still with a satchel beside her. I held and kissed her and ask her what the satchel was for. She said, "Pendejo, you want to see the strength of my love for you, drink this cafe con leche, wash your face and let's walk. Now I am bushed. The shaman had taken me many places in our mental wanderings but not to the house of trust. I changed into my white peasant clothing Rosita had made for me and cinched my woven belt of lucky icons and we walked.When dawn broke so gloriously, I begin to have doubts, she had none. She trudged on and on for many kilometers and never rested a step. I begin to get my senses back and started watching her march. She was angry and determined. I was barely able to catch up to her. I smoked many delicados, drank the thick coffee, ate the pan dulce that she had carried in the satchel, and began to come around. She liked that I went to see Don Momo, the shaman. I came back more loving and dedicated. There was no problem with the medicine I always took as she thought it good for me. It was the panther medicine from the ” jungle root of truth” from Brazil. You could not lie when you drank this tea, the shame was tremendous. So she liked it that I was an honorable man. Today I was honorable and frightened.We finally reached San Cristóbal de la Casas and went to the baño de vapors to cleanse ourselves for the ritual. She knew more about it than I did. To my horror, I noticed many people, especially men, with hands bandaged and blood seeping through the gauze and older abuelos with no hands and many scars. I began to shake with fear. Rosita asked me, "Miguelito, what do you fear, yourself?" You are the one who is faltering. Has fear challenged you now after this long trek? " She stared at me like I was prey for the taking. My tongue was dry and wordless as she took my hand to the shrine of the truth. Something began to make me shapeshift to the panther and I began to walk faster and faster, almost a dead run.We arrived at the casita de los verdades and I strode right in like a fully armed cowboy and she was right behind me, our hands welded together. We dropped the gold alms in the hand of the crone and looked deep within the pools of love in our eyes. I swam in the pool of her love, true and deep, and Rosita never faltered. We plunged our clenched hands into the crucible and felt our hearts join and weld together, and there was no pain, none whatsoever.She looked at me and said, "Miguelito, I have loved you through many lives and you doubted me, you are the pendejo of all times, it is you that had the fear. And I will tell you, I am the daughter of a brujo and you will never doubt us again. You are not burned nor are you not loved, and if you doubt me again I will burn your heart until you cry with misery. I will tell you this once, "I love you with a love that is a bond of the Gods and Goddesses, so our hearts are one and we will continue to be one. She said, "This is now forgotten and I would have taken a burned old man home with me anyway. Your doubt will never cause me to leave you. You will always love me because it is predetermined and ancient destiny."“ Now, Miguelito, you will lead us home and be quick, I have something else to prove to you. “Written by Michael (Miguel) Forbus